Edible Books.

MICE are ILLITERATE, and these MEN are GODS:

Random pop in...

Just here to vomit and leave.

Enjoy.

This is REALLY RANDOM.

I know it's a requirement to know the Immigrant Song by heart by the age of twenty*, so I'm sharing my study tool.

http://www.vikingkittens.com/

Guaranteed to cram it into your head within a mere 5 or so views (up to 10, but no more than that)!

You'll pass your Immigrant Song Test with flying colors!

On we sweep with threshing oaaar....

*You will be tested on this someday. If not by me, then by someone else.**

** I heard reciting the Immigrant Song will be part of every standard sobriety test within the next ten years.

Honest.

I need to start blogging again. Otherwise I'm going to drive the people at My Little Pony forums crazy.

Things I am grateful for this Thanksgiving:

• Dangling earrings on women
• Ugly babies
• Homeless people that talk to themselves
• Asians who fail math (Ooh, bad, a stereotype!)
• Fast printers
• Ugly bags
• Ugly shoes
• Ugly things in general
• Precious Moments figurines (ahhh hahaha)
• Little kids that push other little kids down
• Little kids that get pushed down (I was you!)
• Whores and sluts (there's a difference)
• Big black floppy disks (of doom)
• Mark Morford
• Pennies (they're so useless)
• Wipe n' Clear lens cleaners
• Macs
• Old school gangsta rap (that's how we do in the 202)
• Covers of Black Sabbath's Fairies Wear Boots in thick Scottish accents (alrighty new!)
• Quadruple wrapped, quintuple boxed presents
• James Brown
• Cat wall clocks
• People on eBay who advertise these Cat wall clocks by including the word "pussy" in the title six times
• People who use the word "shindig" on a daily basis (I tried and failed)
• Mary Kay Latourneau
• I Love Lucy
• Lucy the Boxer (dog)
• Peeling paint
• H.P. Lovecraft stories
• Art inspired by Lovecraft
• Lawn gnomes and their pink feathered (plastic) friends
• Project Gutenberg
• Xanga
• Old ladies with freckles
•  tags
• <img src> tags
• HTML tags in general
• Authors published posthumously
• People who think too much
• People who don't think enough
• Kaleidoscopes
• Dictionary.com
• People who paint their dog's claws
• Dogs that allow their claws to be painted
• Welders
• People who listen to classical music
• Crab apples
• Crappy CGI
• Two dollar bills
• People who record everything (I'm inches away from being one of them)
• People who know who Ravi Shankar is
• Kids born after 1988 that still watch B+W movies
• People who read this list
• People that don't read this but are still up to my standards of cool (not very high standards, mind)
• IFC
• Awkward silences
• Things that squirm (like people in said awkward silences)
• Baked potatoes
• Cheese
• Sour cream
• Everything else that goes on a baked potato
• The 1920's
• The color "mauve"
• People who know what "mauve" is
• People who know what color "taupe" is
• People who know the hex color codes for blue, lime, fuscia, red, and yellow (the basics, you know)
• People who can wing it and guess a hex color code and get perfect colors (I hate you)
• People that type their masterpieces on Windows
• People that collect dolls (+1)
• People that collects clowns (+2)
• People that collect Chuckie memorabilia (+3)
• People that still own Ataris and play them
• People that rocked Altered Beast on the Sega Genesis
• People that listen to the band Genesis
• People that have never heard Genesis
• People that noticed how many times "People that" begins a segment of this Thanksgiving list
• People who prefer the book over the movie and aren't afraid to tell you (even if you've only seen the movie)
• Reading the book and not seeing the movie
• Seeing the movie and not reading the book
• People that believe films + cinematography can be just as artistic as painting or sculpting
• People who write and keep journals actively
• People that aren't book smart but are still intimidatingly intelligent
• Iceland and all its native ponies
• Laying on cats and using them as pillows despite their screams
• Mugs whose soul purpose is to collect pens
• Clicky pens that annoy the hell out of everyone but are still produced in the millions annually
• People who boycott clicky pens
• People who enjoy annoying others with clicky pens
• The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement (genius.)
• People who are infamous rather than famous.
• Wine corks
• How the smell of wine still lingers in the corks, be they a day or a month old
• Orange sharpies
• Bowties
• The My Little Pony "Bowtie"
• The My Little Pony "Pillow Talk"
• People who picked up on the risque name of the last pony
• Jumbo coloring books
• People who color in coloring books well into their 40's
• Abandoned MySpaces
• Active blogs
• Blogs that act as Degrassi episodes
• Blogs that inspire (thinking or vomit, whatever)
• People who publish blog entries only to edit them twenty seconds later
• Lists that never seem complete

Hey. Nothing to report other than that my pony's special.

I DID talk to a christian the other day, on this odd website. So, I thought maybe you'd be slightly amused with this conversation:

christian: HE IS COMING, ARE YOU READY!?!?!?! DO YOU KNOW CHRIST???? IF NOT MSG US. PLEASE DON'T BE SHY!!!!

me: When is "he" coming? Do gays get the memo too?

christian: Kinda hard to miss the memo, there's 66 books of it! And even though gays are against the rule of God, yes, they get the memo.

me: Ahh. I haven't read those 66 books. Too much time wastage.

christian: Do you know christ?

me: No. Haven't met him. I'm a satanist. Hail satan.

christian: What do you believe in?

me: In Satan. Just kidding. There's no god, no jesus, no satan. There's you and earth, and have a fun time while you can breathe.

christian: Sorry buddy, but that's not true. How do you think we got here?

me: Evolution

christian: So we came from slime?

me: Not slime, exactly, "buddy". Tiny microscopic organisms that slowly evolved to adapt to the environment.

chrstian: Where did the tiny microscopic organisms come from?

me: I haven't done my homework THAT far. But face it, if there was a superior being, he'd be pretty lame if he just created microscopic organisms that don't really interact at all.

christian: Oh sure. I feel REALLY bad for you. Can you get a Bible?

me: No. My family doesn't own a bible. And if you mean run out and get one, I'd rather run out and get french fries.

christian: No, that's not what I meant. And can you capitalize Bible?

me: No. I CAN'T SEEM TO CAPITALIZE bIBLE. Anyways, what did you mean then?

christian: Ugh I just want you to be able to read Genesis in the bible. Where is says God made everything INCLUDING us.

me: Oh. We don't own a bible. Genesis... isn't that some lame 80's band?

christian: Ugh!! Gen. 1:26 says And God said, let us make man in our image, after our likeness....

me: Yeah, but that's really just a book. Do we have proof that some higher power made it? It was just a bunch of people on hallucinogenics.

christian: God didn't write it, he inspired the people who wrote it.

me: Yeah, with drugs. Or schizophrenia.

christian: That's why over 5000 people saw the risen Christ, and ALOT of people have seen angels.

me: They're never really reliable people, you notice?

christian: And those scientists arn't either. Okay, I'm done trying to teach you, even if i feel really bad for you. I hate seeing people go to hell.

me: Don't worry, I can't wait personally.

Wee!! That was fun!!